How Do You Know If You Need Individual Therapy?

You need individual therapy when a pattern in your thoughts, relationships, or emotions has become distressing or is interfering with your daily life, and it hasn't resolved on its own or with support from friends and family. You don't need to be in crisis to start. Most people wait far longer than they need to.

Here are the signs that tend to show up most, and what individual therapy actually addresses in each case.

You keep repeating the same relationship pattern

If you notice you are drawn to the same type of partner, end up in the same arguments, or find yourself over-functioning to hold a relationship together, that is not bad luck. It's a pattern, and patterns are learned, which means they can also be unlearned. Individual therapy is where you slow down and look at what you're actually repeating, often something that started long before the current relationship.

You don't fully trust your own judgment

A common sign is doubting your read on people or situations, second-guessing decisions after you've already made them, or needing outside reassurance before you feel sure of anything. This often shows up most clearly in dating, where it can be hard to tell the difference between a red flag and your own anxiety. Therapy helps you rebuild trust in your own perception, so you're not constantly outsourcing it.

You feel emotionally overwhelmed or shut down more often than not

This can look like frequent anxiety, a low mood that doesn't lift, irritability that surprises you, or the opposite: feeling numb, flat, or disconnected from things that used to matter. Emotional regulation is one of the most common reasons people start individual therapy, and it's rarely about eliminating hard feelings. It's about not being run by them.

You're people-pleasing, over-giving, or struggling to set boundaries

If saying no feels like a threat, if you find yourself agreeing to things you don't want, or if you give far more than you receive and call it normal, this is one of the clearest signs that boundary work is overdue. It's also one of the areas therapy can shift fastest once you have language for what's happening.

You're going through a breakup, divorce, or major life transition

Even a transition you chose can be destabilizing. Individual therapy during a breakup or divorce is not about staying stuck in the past. It's about processing what happened clearly enough that you don't carry the same unresolved patterns into what comes next.

You want to prepare for a healthier relationship before you're in one

You don't have to be in a relationship, or even dating, to benefit from individual therapy. A lot of people come in specifically to do the work before meeting someone, so they're not repeating old dynamics by default. This is some of the most effective timing there is, since there's no active relationship stress competing for attention.

Is individual therapy different from couples therapy?

Yes. Individual therapy is for your own patterns, history, and emotional world, and you are the only client in the room. Couples therapy is for the relationship itself, with both partners as the client. Many people start in individual therapy to understand their own patterns first, then move into couples therapy later if that becomes the right next step.

What actually happens in individual therapy?

Sessions are 50 minutes, typically weekly to start. Early sessions focus on your history and what's bringing you in. From there, the work is a mix of noticing patterns in real time, understanding where they came from, and building the emotional skills to respond differently going forward. It adjusts to what you need. Some weeks are practical and skills-focused, others are slower and more reflective.

Does insurance cover individual therapy?

Often, yes. I am in-network with Premera, Blue Cross Blue Shield, and Lifewise for individual therapy, starting August 1, 2026. I can verify your specific benefits before your first session. Sessions are $150 if paying privately.

How do I get started?

I offer a free 20-minute consultation to talk about what's bringing you in and whether we're a good fit. There's no pressure and no obligation. If you've been quietly wondering whether individual therapy could help, that wondering is usually the sign itself.